So, your team isn’t in the Super Bowl this year. Instead of weeping about it and retreating to your NFL licensed bed sheets and hiding beneath them, you’ve decided to throw a party. You want to enjoy the Big Game with a couple dozen of your closest compatriots so you can have an excuse to drink heavily and ingest massive quantities of finger food. Problem is, you have a
nice leather sofa and with people more focused on fist pumping and high fiving rather than watching where the buffalo chicken dip on the mini paper plate is dripping you’re bound to have the unenvious task of cleaning up after a pack of miscreants who done treated your leather wrong.
Not to worry, though, as the safeguards to protect your leather is as easy as pulling a hammy right before you’re set to take the field in the biggest game of your life. One of the first things you need to divest yourself from thinking is that you can treat your leather as if it were a piece of lumber storing books or a countertop that demands solutions that claim to rid 99.9% of germs. Your leather is about as close to a living being as Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs would have liked. Because of that, you need to approach cleaning it and protecting it from that perspective.
Once you have the right mindset, invest in a soap solution that has a neutral ph. By doing this you’re able to clean your furniture without fear of stripping it of its most basic of defenses against stains: oils. Like your living skin, these oils allow there to be a thin barrier between you using it and it being able to protect itself. Now, once you’ve cleaned it using your neutral ph soap solution you will want to coat it in a leather conditioner. What this does is give back your furniture its natural oils and gives you a fair chance to put your hand on that Hail Mary pass in the end zone when Billy, aka The Man Who Loaded Up On Too Much Taco Dip, dumps his plate on your leather cushions after leaping into the air when his team converts on 3rd and 18.